The incredibly growing woman

I feel like I'm getting bigger and puffier by the minute. I'm now officially walking like the Michelin tire man, waddling every chance I get.
And the record-breaking heat isn't helping matters any. It's making me more swollen and way more uncomfortable. That's what I get for saying back in the winter that June and July won't be so bad. (How was I suppose to know Austin would hit 100 degrees every day in June?!)
Aside from the swelling, my hips feel like they're being ripped apart. It hurts to walk around. As a result, I'm walking like a pachyderm.
But what's worse are the legs and feet. Holy cow. My legs look like tree trunks and my once-slender feet are now the size of large Russet potatoes. Check out the photos. Yep, I have cankles. Which means, no more heels. Say it ain't so!!!!
I've been wearing wedges and espadrilles, but even those are starting to feel uncomfortable. Soon, my wardrobe will consist of muumuus and flip flops.
Oh! But here's one bit of good news--we bought a bassinet! I found one on Craigslist for $30. It's hardly used and it looks really cute! So as far as baby gear goes, we're all set! I'm very excited about that.
I think I can safely say, I'm ready. Well, except for the whole actual labor pain part. But who in their right mind is ever ready for that??