Monkeying around

One of the few Jon and Kate Plus Eight episodes I ever saw involved one of Kate’s brood waking up in a poopie mess. I’m talking poop up the back, in the crib, everywhere. They were young, still toddlers, during this episode, but I remember thinking, “Oh god, I hope that never happens to me.” Nothing makes me want to puke faster.

Well, in the past 24 hours, Monkey has more than deserved his nickname.

Last night, right before bed, he had a poopie. As I was changing his diaper, he reaches down, grabs his diaper (yes—with poop STILL in it!) and flings it over his head. I almost passed out. Poop hit the side of his head, and a giant turd landed right next to his ear. Visions of a future GG Allen quickly filled my head. Fortunately, Jon was there to help with the mess, but had he not been there, I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done. Dunked Jordan in a bath of antibacterial gel immediately, no doubt.

And then this morning, we had a surprise poopie diaper. Once again, Jordan managed to writhe in all manner of ways, making cleanup a colossal mess. Into the wash goes his bedspread.

Once all was said and done, though, I realized that I had overcome perhaps one of my biggest fears as a parent – cleaning up toddler poop. Not cute baby poop; that’s totally different and quite honestly, pretty manageable.