The girl who cried preeclampsia

Here's the thing about having a high-risk pregnancy -- you're constantly filled with anxiety. Even if there's no reason to feel anxious, it's always there eating away at the back of your brain. Your thoughts always drift to the worst-case scenario or to memories of what got you into this high-risk category to begin with.

So it is with me. I haven't been able to relax throughout this whole pregnancy, try as I might. Which means, I've more than filled my frequent visitor card at my doctor's office. Anytime anything feels a little off, I'm there. The front desk and nurses know me by name.

First, there was the whole collapsing at the office incident. Well, this past Friday, I had yet another scare. It was a particularly stressful morning. I offered to take Jordan to school since I had to meet up with a coworker anyway to discuss some final wrap-up plans. The morning involved Jon and I scrambling about, trying to get ourselves and Jordan ready for school. Which means, I didn't eat anything, similar to the morning I had with the most recent incident.

At Jordan's school, I completely forgot the front door code. I sat there for a good minute or two just blankly staring at the keypad. "I should know this; I do it everyday," I thought. And I freaked.

Why? Because that's how my seizure started last time. Total confusion.

I told myself to calm down, and fortunately, a lady let us in. I told myself to just hold it together long enough to get Jordan into his classroom. As I walked down the hall toward his room, the walls started closing in and I felt really lightheaded. Fortunately, I dropped him off without incident.

Afterward, I headed over to Starbucks, where I was set to meet my coworker, and immediately ordered something to eat. Once I got all settled, I called my doc, who had me come in at 11 a.m. Sure enough, my blood pressure was at 140/88. I'm sure it was because of the stress of the morning and what I now call "symptom stress," or rather, stress over things you perceive as symptoms.

All in all, everything turned out ok, and my doc ordered me to stay away from work. No problem there since I'm taking the following week off anyway. Still, I'm sure I'll find something else to worry about. I always do.